Tag Archives: self discovery

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Shine Challenge

I like the sound of this.

Announcing….

a 31 day guide to embracing your authentic, beautiful self

so you can be lit from within to live your passion and purpose

and give your gifts to the world

Are you ready to choose you, appreciate you, love you and have no idea how to start?

Have you been thinking about taking the Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance  journey but didn’t know if it would work for you or weren’t sure about making a year-long commitment to you?

Do you want supportive, encouraging company and a little reassuring guidance on your journey?  Then shine is for you.

how shine works: 

Every day in August, there will be a daily post here at www.rosiemolinary.com that will offer you inspiration on your self-acceptance journey and  then guidance on how to take one simple step that day towards living in self-acceptance.  Complete that day’s challenge and come back and post a comment about your experience with that challenge and you will be entered to win one of many awesome giveaway prizes.  There will be weekly giveaways and an end of the month grand finale giveaway.

getting started:

Each daily post in August will feature a challenge.  Complete the challenge and come back and share about it- what did you learn, how did it challenge you, how did it feel, would you do it again, etc- as a comment and you will be entered in the giveaways.  Every time you comment, you add an entry.  If you complete and comment about the challenges on 17 days of shine, you will have 17 entries for the grand finale drawing and the number of challenges accepted to that point in each weekly giveaway.   The weekly giveaways will happen every Friday.

Want to talk shine on Twitter?  Just use the hashtag #shine.

There are also several different ways to get a few more entries in the giveaways.

#1-3   Sign up for my newsletter, follow me on Twitter, and follow me on Facebook.

#4-5  Follow Karina Dresses, the grand prize giveaway sponsor, on Twitter andFacebook.

If you do bonus entries 1-5 (and you get one entry per follow/sign up), leave me a comment here saying something like “I followed you on FB and Twitter and signed up for your newsletter” and I’ll add your entries to the giveaway.

Also, Karina would love for you to let them know that you are their new friend/ follower because of shine and this blog so feel free to post on their blog or tweet them that you are a new friend because of shine/ Rosie Molinary.

get to know the sponsors:      

Many amazing people have come together to support shine and offer those of you taking this journey wonderful prizes all along the way.  I want to introduce you to all the sponsors that have given shine a spark.  Check them out!

Round of applause to…

Polly Campbell, author of Imperfect Spirituality

JL Fields of JL Goes Vegan Coaching

Mara Glatzel of Medicinal Marzipan

Anna Guest-Jelley of Curvy Yoga

Jodi Helmer, author of The Green Year and other books

Lee McCracken of Yes Ma’am Tees

Julie McCue of You are Loved Designs

Michelle Marie McGrath of Sacred Self

Sally McGraw of Already Pretty

James and Mary Rose Taylor of Birkenstock Feet First, the Arboretum Shopping Center in Charlotte, NC

Special thanks to…

Karina Dresses for offering the grand prize giveaway of one of their dresses.  Got your eye on one of their near one of a kind dresses?  Order one now and just use this discount code (MOLR30) to receive $30 off any full-priced dress.  Enjoy!

Amber Karnes of My Aim is True and Body Positive Yoga for generously designing and donating the gorgeous shine logo.  I mean, seriously, could the woman be any more talented and big hearted?

Alright, we’re all in this together this month.  Let’s shine!

In Search of Me: my past.

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In order to understand who you truly are you must examine your past. The past shapes you but I believe that each person has the responsibility to decide what they keep and what is not useful or might even be dangerous to hold on to from their past. Sorting through your early past can be a mix of joy and pain for some lucky people. Then there are others that don’t have a lot good to say about thier childhood. The best thing I can say is that it made me who I am.

My mother, and father for that matter, had issues. There were huge issues that prevented them from parenting me. I know those issues preceded my birth but they seem to have escalated with every year of my life. One parent was always stealing me from the other. I spent long stretches in New Orleans with my mother and her sister and then back to New York with either, both parents, or just my father.  My mother tended to take off. Most of these issues were related to drugs and alcohol but I’m sure a fair share was just plan old mental illness. A therapist told me she thought it would be helpful to read the book “The Glass Castle”. She thought I could relate to it. I have it, and read the first chapter, but can’t seem to get much further. I probably should read it but having seemingly lived it I prefer to write my own stories.

Many difficult years followed but I always knew that I wanted a different life and a family of my own. There was something in me that knew life was not supposed to be the life I grew up in. I knew it even when it was happening. Years later when I worked with children I would see that in a select few. That knowledge, that although they come from chaos, they had no intention of living their future that way. It seems to be very important factor in how difficult the future will be for those individuals.

At 16 my parents lost custody of me and I lived in a group home with other kids that were incorrigible runaways. Of course I had nothing to run from, I was homeless, but 35 years ago there weren’t a lot of places to put me, and parents rarely lost custody of their children.

Now before you think that I’m writing this to run my parents into the ground, please know I’m not. I believe people do the best they can. Sometimes their best sucks and you need to distance yourself from them. I did that but also took care of both of them until they died a few years ago. I did that from a distance too,  because I know what was best for me.

I also believe that at a certain point in life everyone, no matter where they come from, is responsible for their own actions. I have spent a good portion of my life working with kids to help them see you don’t have to be your roots of origin. Taking responsibility for your life gives you power and control over it. Not necessarily the easy route but definitely the only way to really change your circumstances.

Having been raised the way I was is exactly what was supposed to happen to me. I read once that they only true forgiveness is when you are grateful for the experience. It has taken many years to be grateful, but I am.  I have utilized all of my experiences to become who I am. I really like me now and I am the sum total of all of my experiences, both good and bad.

For the next two weeks I am renting a gorgeous old house in Nantucket, Massachusetts. The kids are here and they’ve brought their friends. Friends of mine are also here. We’re quite the large, laughing, loving group. I look around this 214 year-old house and wonder what the lives of all of the people within these walls entailed.  How much happiness, sorrow, regret and joy happened in this house? How many of those people were able to take the hand that life dealt them and make a beautiful house of cards as I have. Yes, I treat it like a house of cards because you never know what life will bring. Happiness like this is a very delicate and fragile thing.  I feel incredibly grateful for my past that has brought me to this point in my life. There is very little I would change, huge mistakes of my own included. It doesn’t define me but it certainly helped mold me. I just continue to make alterations in this evolving project that is me and am constantly deciding what stays, and what needs to go, in order for me to be healthy and productive.

“I’ve never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.”

 Sophia Loren 

Self-acceptance

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 Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.  ~Henry David Thoreau

I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching recently. I realize that while I crave security, I’m never unhappier than when I consistently know what tomorrow will bring. I always need to shake thing up. It’s always made everyone crazy, but at nearly 50 I’m starting to like that about myself.

I’ve come to accept that I am the sum total of all of my experiences. That all of the pain and love, the disappointments and the successes, the friendships and the betrayals, have brought me to this place and made me the person I am today.  I’m learning to love all of those things. It hasn’t come easily and sometimes it doesn’t come at all.

I continue everyday to strive to improve without losing the unique person that I am.  Embracing the frailties are just as important as taking pride in the strengths. I like that I’m a little quirky and that I see things differently than most people. I like that I’m usually the first person to try something new and that I jump in with both feet and tend to ignore the sign for the deep end of the water. Sometimes these qualities serve me well and sometimes they just make for a really entertaining story a decade after I recover from it. All in all, I’ll keep all the pieces because I’m enjoying the crazy ride of being me.

There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.  ~Pearl Bailey



What do you want now?

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“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.”- Barbara De Angelis

How many of us really know what we want? Do you have a clear picture? Do you know you deserve it? Do you believe you can have it? Well then, go ahead, ask for it! Seriously…louder…there ya go! Keep asking until you get it.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.  The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.  ~Mark Twain

Choices and Courage

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Whatever you are not changing,
you are choosing.
 — Laurie Buchanan

As with most questions in life, if you pay very careful attention, the answer presents itself. First subtly, which is why those most ‘in tune’ get the message right way. Then, with a little more force. Perhaps the stain on the ceiling is growing and it’s time to check out the reason for that? If we ignore that message we often get a full-blown catastrophe. The ceiling stain becomes the roof that leaks, which becomes the roof that falls in on your head.  The final answer is now given in a way that we just can’t ignore.

I have always aspired to be the person who got the message at the first whisper. Unfortunately, the reality is that I’ve often been the girl who stayed too long at the party; stuck out the bad relationship hoping it would change and when it did it was for the worse; worked at the stressful job until it made me ill; held the hand of the incredibly needy friend until they sucked the last bit of energy out of me and then were nowhere to be found when I needed them.  I’ve almost always known what I should do, but instead I stayed. Maybe I was always worried that I’d leave right before things got good. Maybe I just afraid to be wrong. 

I hope I have finally learned that staying beyond the usefulness of anything, whether it is a roof or a relationship, is not healthy. It is also not a failure to choose to change your circumstances when those circumstances conflict with what is beneficial to your overall self-worth, self-image, health, or aspirations. Choosing to surround your self with healthy, supportive people and rewarding work is how we love ourselves and it is impossible to create a fulfilling life, in my opinion, if you don’t first love  and care for yourself. Many things, both good and bad, are wonderful learning experiences.  It’s important to know when to let go and move on.

So as I step in to a new phase in my own life I am focusing on trusting my intuition. I am also  trying to remind myself that sometimes even when you’re scared, for whatever reason, that’s not enough of a reason to stop going forward. The safety of the familiar, the hope that sticking it out will be rewarded, or just the fear of regrets, are not enough to of a reason to ignore needed change or prolong the inevitable.

Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway. – John Wayne

 

Aspirations

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Never mind searching for who you are.  Search for the person you aspire to be.  ~Robert Brault

So, here is an update from the road along the way to becoming who I am. This weekend I am incorporating Magnolia Beginnings as an official 501(c) 3 corporation. I will have also signed the marketing agreements for the business that will fund the nonprofit and next week I will sign the agreements with the auto dealers who I will provide administration of their warranty and insurance products. This time next week I’ll be in business. Deep breathe! This time next month I expect to have the seed money accumulating for the nonprofit micro-lending program. Huge deep breathe!!

So far, the incorporation of the core business and the nonprofit alone will have cost in excess of $1000, and I have experience doing this so I did it all myself including the legal work. My goal is when a single mother has a viable idea for starting a business that will support her family Magnolia Beginnings will be able to fund the start up costs and provide the necessary advice and guidance to get her going.

Remember when you first started riding a bike and you had to look around and make sure someone else saw it too, because you just couldn’t believe it? I’m starting to feel just like that! Woohoo no hands next ; ).