Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.  ~Henry David Thoreau

I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching recently. I realize that while I crave security, I’m never unhappier than when I consistently know what tomorrow will bring. I always need to shake thing up. It’s always made everyone crazy, but at nearly 50 I’m starting to like that about myself.

I’ve come to accept that I am the sum total of all of my experiences. That all of the pain and love, the disappointments and the successes, the friendships and the betrayals, have brought me to this place and made me the person I am today.  I’m learning to love all of those things. It hasn’t come easily and sometimes it doesn’t come at all.

I continue everyday to strive to improve without losing the unique person that I am.  Embracing the frailties are just as important as taking pride in the strengths. I like that I’m a little quirky and that I see things differently than most people. I like that I’m usually the first person to try something new and that I jump in with both feet and tend to ignore the sign for the deep end of the water. Sometimes these qualities serve me well and sometimes they just make for a really entertaining story a decade after I recover from it. All in all, I’ll keep all the pieces because I’m enjoying the crazy ride of being me.

There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.  ~Pearl Bailey