May13

Addiction

Posted on by
Standard

Image

I’ve alluded to the last year as being one of growth, and seldom is there growth without pain, I’m sorry to say. The skill of finding the lesson in the event is what, I believe, separates those that sink from those that swim, pull themselves up on to the shore, and then write a book about the experience.  Watching one of my own as they struggled and continue to struggle with addiction, because really all you can do is watch no matter how much you want to help, has shown me that I’ve raised a swimmer. It doesn’t hurt to have a few people on the shore with a life raft cheering you on either, I suppose.

Keep swimming baby. I’m treading water right alongside you.

“One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” -Linda Poindexter

May9

Flight of Faith

Posted on by
Standard

Image

 If you could fly… …where would you fly ?

I imagine that I’d fly straight up into the sky and then back down to the ground as quickly as possible stopping at the last moment to pull up into flight again just because I could.

 Where would you fly ….if you could fly?

“The reason birds can fly and we can’t is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.” ― J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird

May9

Patience

Posted on by
Standard

Image

Some of you who have been following for awhile may recall that I was starting a nonprofit along with a business. Magnolia New Beginnings was/is focused on creating educational and entrepreneurial opportunities. Well, it was focused on that for about two years in my head while we waited for approval of the 501c3 status with the IRS.  I have to tell you I had all but given up. But as they say, good things come to those that wait…or forget they even wanted something because it took so long….and yesterday the approval finally came in. It’s official! Now to insert another 24 hours into the week and I’ll be all set.

“Trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.” ― Molière

May8

Can’t sleep boys?

Posted on by
Standard

Something to think about in the comfort of our homes.

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn

Nigerian-School-girls-kidnapped

What a mistake it was, before my bed time, to read the finishing line in The New Yorker article titled Captivity:

They are perhaps thinking only that night is falling again, and that the men will come to each of them again, an unending horror.

Fellas, here’s my short good night prayer to you:

May you find it in your heart to let them go.
All of them.
NOW. Safely. Untouched.

And if you have no Heart and remain in Darkness,
I hope you watched the News today.
And saw that your government has accepted U.S. assistance.

You may be hearing Footsteps.
We’re coming.
You may be hearing Thunder.
We’re coming.
You will see Lightening. You will feel Rain. The skies will Open.
It’s coming.

Sleep well Boys.

It’s coming. Hell is coming.

DK

Image Credit: CNN.com

View original post

May5

A Different Take on Love

Posted on by
Standard

Image

Love is never what you think it is, is it? We imagine that it should be simple, it will fix our woes, fill our gaps, and warm us in the cold. We dream that all the good in life will be better and that words will be replaced by a knowing look and a connection so strong that there will never be a doubt that we are bonded at the soul. Can you hear me laughing?

Ahh, it’s good to dream! Sometimes I think those dreams are our undoing. Perhaps it would be better to think that real love will test you, enlighten you, and throw all of your own shortcomings in your face in order for you to rise to the challenge of being a more complete person on your own and when your beloved sees all of this, they will love you anyhow. 

Better said by Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet”:

“When love beckons to you follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep.      

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,      

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him,      

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.      

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.      

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,      

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.       He threshes you to make you naked.      

He sifts you to free you from your husks.      

He grinds you to whiteness.      

He kneads you until you are pliant;      

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.      

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.”

It can’t just be the flowers and love songs because when that passes, as it always does, what will be left? I have been very fortunate to have a friend and partner who has challenged me to be better person. A man who will not allow me to be any less than I should be and when forced to admit why, he will reluctantly admit that it is because he loves me, but not necessarily in the way I want to hear it. He is a man of actions, more so than words. My own challenge… not always getting what I want, instead getting what I need. In turn, hopefully I will push him out of his comfort zone to be something more than he is now. I tried the easy route of no challenges and it was empty. True love is a growing, learning, sometimes painful, experience.  It’s the mother bird that pushes the baby out of the nest, not really knowing for sure if it will fly, but knowing it needs to and believing enough for both of them. To love and be loved in this way both breaks my heart and then mends it, it lifts me up and then brings me to my knees, it is more than I hoped for and better than I could have dreamed. It’s anything but simple.

“All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.      

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,      

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,      

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.      

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself

 Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, I am in the heart of God.”

 

Thank you to Suzi81 Speaks for this weekly word challenge http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/49935482/13902/

May2
Posted on by
Aside

Image

Okay, maybe that’s a tad harsh. But, as a person who seems to like to build people up at my own expense, I think it’s a step in the right direction. Fixing everything and trying to find my own self esteem and self worth by looking outside of myself sometimes attracts unhealthy people.

“Love me so I can love myself!” I seem to say in a whisper, much like those silent dog whistles, that only a narcissist can hear.

Friends and neighbors, I can tell you honestly…that does not work. If in fact you’d like to attract people that will take and not give anything back, if you’d like to spend your time trying to please the unpleaseable, if you’d like to feel smaller everyday…well, that’s the recipe.

Look in the mirror, into your own eyes, and see how wonderful you are. Look within.

Don’t forget to love yourself.

Soren Kierkegaard

Love Yourself

May1

The Magical Look of Love

Posted on by
Standard

Image

I wonder if Frida believed that look would last forever or if it was good enough to have seen it briefly. Apparently Frida saw that look often, although not necessarily in the eyes of her husband. It was never enough to make her happy for long.

Is it possible to hold on to that memory to renew your feelings when you look over at him, doing that “thing” he does, and resist the urge to question your own sanity? What is the elusive quality that holds some people together while others seem to drift?

Love is merely a madness: and, I tell you, deserves as
as well a dark house and a whip, as madmen do: and the
reason why they are not so punished and cured, is, that
the lunacy is so ordinary, that the whippers are in love too.
(As You Like It, 3.2)

Apr28

How much is enough?

Posted on by
Standard

couple-holding-hands-300x225

How do you determine when you are asking for too much from another person? How much should you try to change in order to make a relationship work? When is it okay to accept less than you want or need without compromising beyond what you deserve? When is it just too much?

We all know there are things that we could improve upon. We could be more open, more accepting, more tolerant. Perhaps we need more patience or not to expect our partner to be “the world” to us.

But when do we stop trying to mold ourselves into another person’s idea of perfection and say “I am enough.” “I am enough with all of my faults, idiosyncrasies and peculiarities. I may not be perfect but I’m me, and if that’s not good enough, then it’s not me that you want. “

When do we look in the mirror and decide that changing certain things may be long over due and accepting another for who they are, whether it is or is not exactly enough, is worth the effort?

Where is the middle ground?

After all those years as a woman hearing ‘not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,’ almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, ‘I’m enough.’

Anna Quindlen