Tag Archives: health

Eating your problems?


When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.

Elayne Boosler

I eat my problems.

I never had this problem when I was younger, or maybe I didn’t notice, but as I get older I can clearly ‘see’ that I do this.

Okay, what do I mean by this you may, or may not, ask?

I eat when I’m depressed. I swallow my words too. I stuff down my emotions. I ingest the pain I’m in and hold it all inside and then I have a sundae. It then appears on my hips. Voila! Just like magic; but not.

I never knew this about myself because it never showed up on the outside until lately.

Friggin’ 50!

So, is the answer to go to the gym more or is it to tell everyone to fuck off? Make myself happy instead of making myself ice cream? Take a break from making everyone else feel good and regurgitate all this negativity; shed the burdens; lose the weight of everyone else and have a salad instead?

Definitely time for a change.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

Peter De Vries

Just Breathe



After spending the last couple of days recovering from the asthma attack from hell “Just Breathe” takes on a whole new meaning. How we neglect to appreciate the ability to take a deep breath in!

So, today instead of rushing through your one guarenteed day, take a moment and be grateful for something. Think about how simple but lovely the ability to just breathe is.

It won’t take long, I promise. 

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Oprah Winfrey

Don’t be a baby? Why not?



I think it’s time for me to be more child-like. I’m tired of being adult about everything.

I was on the beach yesterday watching a family with small children. One curly-haired, blue-eyed, cherub of a girl complete with a yellow bikini making a sand cake for her mother and her slightly older, more serious looking, brother in his boxer bathing suit with small blue whales on them eating a juicy peach and singing a song I don’t recognize. They are adorable, sweet, angelic…oh wait he’s ripping the shovel out of her hand and screaming, “MINE”, she has her mouth open but no sound is coming out, she’s standing up, still no sound…wait for it, wait for it…WOW. She lets out one blood- curdling scream and falls backwards into the sand. Her brother looks on, unfazed, and then continues digging the hole he had been neglecting while eating his lunch. She screams some more and her parents, clearly embarrassed but not unfamiliar with the theatrics, try to quiet her. “Don’t be a baby”, Dad says, while her brother is completely absorbed in digging and singing.

Oh please, let her scream I want to say. How I wish I could do that. Just once. Like say when the guy stole my parking spot or when the woman on the cell phone cut in front of me in line like I wasn’t even there.

Right down on the ground screaming. Can you imagine?

I think we could learn a thing or two about feeling our emotions without apologizing or holding them in from children. How do we get so repressed? Of course throwing yourself down and wailing isn’t the answer but maybe more honesty in our emotions is still an option.

“Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar.”Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke

Groundhog Day


Thank you to Genie Speaks for nominating me for the Illuminating Blog Award.  Yesterday started with an award and ended with an award. There were all kind of great happenings in between too. If I had to pick a “groundhog day”, yesterday would be high on the list.

The best part of these awards are that I get to possibly introduce people that read my blog to some other really wonderful writers such as Genie Speaks. She is one of those writers who always has something interesting to say and says it in a way that you want to just pull up a chair and have a cup of coffee with her. Please take a look at her blog.

Okay, now I have to share one random thing. I am not one of those people with a clear path, my life seems to be the stringing together of random things, but I’ll give you just one.

  1. Share one random thing

I have had many jobs in my life but the one that I am most proud of, enjoyed the most, and did for free, was as area coordinator for an organization that brought children, ages 7-12, to the United States from Northern Ireland, mostly Belfast and Derry, for six weeks in the summer. These kids came from rough circumstances during the most recent worst of the “Troubles”. I raised the funds, placed them with host families and coordinated events and did a lot of promoting. I was even featured on the World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. Most importantly, this experience allowed my family to bring the same girl, Sarah, from Belfast back each summer for 10 years. She has become a lovely young woman and works with a community development organization in Belfast. She always told me one day she would do something to pay me back for bringing her to the U.S. each summer. I always told her to pay it forward. Now she does, everyday.

Okay, now for the really fun part. I get to share five bloggers whose blogs I consider illuminating. To illuminate is defined as to provide intellectual or spiritual enlightenment and understanding. The following people do that on a regular basis:

  1. Nominate 5 Blogs:






My wish  today is that you have a day exactly like I had yesterday and that you all keep writing!

Feast on Your Life


Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

New Experiences and changes…


“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote. I love quotes in general. Whenever I am feeling a little lost I’ve always looked for inspiration in the words of others. I imagined that they must know more that I do if everyone was quoting them and I’m usually able to find just what I need.

I have to admit, the idea of giving my resignation to the school where I teach special education is a a little daunting. I decided about 5 years ago after a divorce to complete a Master’s program in Special Education and change careers to become a teacher. It wasn’t easy to juggle work and school and four children, with very little help. Both of my parents died during all of this and there were many other problems, many financial. In other words; I nearly killed myself getting here and after 2 years in the exact job I thought I wanted that actually wants me back I’m planning to resign. Wow, when I write it down it sounds nuts.

For all that is good about this, there is bad. It’s not the new and richer experience I had hoped for. In fact, I spend most of my day doing tedious paperwork and handing my lessons to my tutor so she can enjoy teaching them. I love the kids in my class and I think they may even love me as much as a middle school student can. I do know that they  know how much I respect them and I absolutely get that back. But, my job is about 10 % teaching and 90% administration. Let’s not forget I’m actually considered living on the poverty level for the town where I work. I make 50% of the median income in my town. Not even the deciding factor, but significant enough to mention.

So, the new and richer experience had to include a way to make the world a better place. I know myself and if that is not part of the plan I won’t be happy doing whatever I am doing. I’ve always volunteered and worked in nonprofit and have started two nonprofits of my own. The trouble was that I could never make enough money to support my family at these jobs so I would find myself doing something that made our lives more comfortable but gave no personal satisfaction aside from that.

I have been in search of the opportunity where I can live a comfortable life, be challenged, independant, and also give back. I think I’ve found it. The business I’m starting with give a percentage of the cost from the client  and a percentage of my profit on each transaction to a nonprofit I am creating. My thought is that if I do it at the start that neither the client or myself will miss that small amount.

Imagine if every business did that? Imagine the good we can do? I want to be a part of that and I know that if I work hard I can create something wonderful that will employ people, give other woman a new start and allow me to support my family. I’m chronicling it on here so that I can show other women after I successfully create this business called Magnolia that just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you should stop.

Take a second to send some encouragement if you happen to read this. I’m going forward but the good thoughts help.

Thank you for reading and good luck to you too!

Hello world!

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.
Viktor E. Frankl
I created this blog in order to  journal  the events surrounding the starting of a new business, as well as an affiliated nonprofit. I thought I could show others that reinventing yourself is possible, but as I write I can see that it’s also helping me to see the same thing.
The business will allow me the opportunity to start an organization that provides loans and grants to woman, who have previously lived below the poverty line, so that they can start their own businesses. 
To be a part of someone realizing their dreams or giving them the encouragement to change their perceptions of themselves or what is possible in their lives would be an incredible gift.  I’m looking forward to the process. Thanks for following along!