Holy Moses do I need to be alone! I adore the people around me but I’m a person who needs her solitude. This weekend I’m planning on taking a road trip and visiting some friends I haven’t seen in awhile back in NYC. I can’t wait, but almost as much as seeing them I am looking forward to being alone. That hours of driving alone sounds like nirvana to me right now. I need to think, to contemplate, and to get ready for what’s next. I need to do all of this without being asked where the ketchup is or what’s today’s date or what are we having for dinner at 8 am. In order to be calm and loving and not scream “how the f*ck do I know” when asked these perfectly innocent questions I need some time alone. I’m praying I make it to Friday.
“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.”
― Hermann Hesse
…and David Spade, and Kevin James, and the guy that look likes Newman from Seinfeld and might be, and even that cute guy from the Hunger Games.
Actually that is a bold faced lie, but they are filming the sequel to the movie “Grownups” aptly named “Grownups 2”, in the very small town, where I live. I, and the other 20,000 residents, of this town have gone varying degrees of star struck over the last month or so. Well, I, not so much. Honestly I’m just not that interested except for the fact that I find it really cool that with all of the places to choose from he has picked this town that I have come to love. The entire town has been taken over by this movie it seems. They have changed the façade of the middle school to look like the high school that will be in the movie. They have constructed buildings, closed roads and even took the high school girls softball team out to lunch. Needless to say it’s been every kind of nutty for a town that only has one way in and way out, for the most part.
So I was taking the extremely long way out of town because a scene was being filmed at a local baseball field when I realized that I actually feel sorry for Adam (I can call him that because we hang out, sort of) and for all of the other of huge stars that are in this movie. While the entire town was stalking them I was able to drive by the ocean and smell the sea air, wave to a policeman that was directing traffic, and then come to the beach to write a little. No one gave me a second look except for the cop who was about 12 and clearly thought I was flirting and was not impressed. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have the constant attention of the public. Bad days, happy days and all of the days in between there probably is always someone watching.
I enjoy my solitude. I need it and crave it like a drug if I am without it too long. Would I trade it for millions of dollars? Would I like to be within the circle of the rich and famous? Well, I thought maybe until today. But, I think I’m content to just watch from this side of the fence, and ofcourse lie about it a little.
Have a happy Saturday!