The thought passing through my mind that I can’t turn off was not as eloquently put as Anne’s, but the point was the same. What if I had postponed my happiness and waited to enjoy my life until that perfect time when everything was in order and everyone else was taken care of and I find out that I’ve waited too long and run out of time?
This concept has been weighing on me and I saw this Anne LaMott quote on my friend, Mimi’s, from http://waitingforthekarmatruck.com/ wall and it made me feel so good to know I’m not the only one having this thought. Well, especially if Mimi and Anne LaMott were too!
When I was a child and old enough to realize that not every family had a drunken brawl every Saturday night I thought I’d be happy when I moved out and had a family of my own.
And then I did.
When I married and had a family of my own I thought I’d be happy when my divorce was final and he was finally out of the house.
And then he was.
Then I thought I’d be happy when I found love again, and then I did, and I was.
And then it ended
When I was alone with my children in my own home I thought the time would be right to be happy when it was easier and they were all in school, when the oldest could help by driving, when the older two were in college, when the youngest drove, when the youngest was in college.
And then they all were
And I looked around and saw how much time had passed and asked myself why I didn’t enjoy the trip instead of focusing on the destination.
It’s something about turning 50 I think. Each day I remind myself that this very moment is the most important moment in my life. I may still have many years to do all that I want to do but I have only this instant to enjoy what is already in front of me.
Take inventory of all of the wonderful things you have to be grateful for and celebrate right now. It’s all you really have.
Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.