Tag Archives: mother

Letting Go

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I resolve to take back the remnants of my life, and then it happens- in the shifting swiftness of everything, cyclone-like, pulling me into the center of the chaos without a chance to grasp on to myself- I plummet, head-first, all too often, into the lives of everyone, patching their open wounds with fragments of myself, oblivious that this is in fact my choice to wear their scars inside. I look for pieces of me, familiar things that I’d recognize to grab onto, like an amnesiac trying to recall who they are, but I remember only me in relation to them; so little of me anymore and so much of them. I promise that this is the last time and I brace myself against the next storm. Temporarily the whirling stops and for a moment, I forget that this is my life.

There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.
–Jessica Hatchigan

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Boys

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Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

Occasionally, I’m sure all parents think what it would be like to be free of responsibility. To be able to do as you please, eat without seeing if anyone else is hungry, turn ‘your’ music up loud and dance around the room without embarrassing anyone, or just be quiet and not answer a question for ten minutes. I’m sure all of that can’t compare to the feeling of your huge almost 17 year-old son walking up from behind you and in front of his friends, giving you a hug and saying, “love you Mom.” Then I remember why I spent all those years sleepless and changing diapers.

It was worth it.