The Important List



Have you ever noticed that sometimes, when you let go of trying so hard to make things happen, they just appear on their own?

There’s a bunch of you reading this right now and saying “No, actually.”

I know, I know it doesn’t happen nearly enough to me either. It usually happens when I finally say “F**K it. I don’t care. I’ve had it and I’m not trying anymore.”

Yesterday I spent the very, very… did I mention very… rainy day making lists. Lists of things I needed to do, lists of things I wanted to do and then more lists on how to do them. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or out of control I make lists of what is important to me. Most of the time it helps calm me down. Even when it’s a very long, seemingly insurmountable list, I still know where I need to start and what I need to do.

One of the few things on the list without a list of steps to make it happen was friendships. I haven’t been a great friend over the last few years. I’ve let many of my friendships fade away because I just haven’t made the time to take care of them. I need to change that.

It’s not that I don’t love these people, but when they called to get together I was with my kids, working, studying, going to school, etc… Something had to go and that was the only thing I could spare, although I really couldn’t.

So, recently I’ve been trying to arrange get togethers, coffee, drinks and/or dinner, anything to bring those people back into my life and off of the fringe.

All of the other things on the ‘to do’ list seem to pale in comparison to renewing these friendships. So, I’ve been working hard at it.

And then yesterday in the middle of all of that planning and list making a wonderful new friend reached out and just made my day. Truth be told, she made my month. Sometimes amidst all of the planning and making things happen I forget that wonderful unplanned opportunities present themselves and that friendships are what we all really need and belong at the top of the list of things that are important to me.

The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
Joseph Addison

About Magnolia Beginnings

Just when you think you have it all down it changes again or... “Reshaping life! People who can say that have never understood a thing about life—they have never felt its breath, its heartbeat—however much they have seen or done. They look on it as a lump of raw material that needs to be processed by them, to be ennobled by their touch. But life is never a material, a substance to be molded. If you want to know, life is the principle of self-renewal, it is constantly renewing and remaking and changing and transfiguring itself, it is infinitely beyond your or my obtuse theories about it.” ― Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago

23 responses »

  1. Great post I know it’s hard sometimes to connect with others with a busy lifestyle. Thanks for shaing and have a great day.

  2. Bravo!! Friendships (really good and true ones) are so important and so hard to come by in our always-connected age, sadly. I’ve been learning the importance of nurturing those relationships too. 🙂 Yay for you!!!!!!

  3. Very cool! People are so important in our lives aren’t they? I have a little wall hanging (It’s really ugly, but my best friend gave it to me) and it says, “A true friend warms you with her presence, trusts you with her secrets, and remembers you in her prayers.”

  4. We must be kindred spirits as I had a lunch date with an old friend on the same day as your post. I was thinking at the time how calm I was as I chatted with her – a break from my endless to-do lists of tasks that I never seem to get through. Yes, she was one on the ‘important list’ , but that day instead of us thinking of it as something that we could now ‘tick-off’ from our lists (the ‘must-catch-up-with….’ list), we immediately scheduled another time…..

  5. So important and so easy to neglect. Friends and family are by FAR the most important things and yet we find so many ways to take them for granted or to fail to nurture these relationships. Good for you for recogizing this and thanks for a much-needed reminder!

  6. Pingback: Buddha and the squirrel « Psychology, spirituality and mental health

  7. Pingback: Nurturing « Joyful on Purpose

  8. This post is so RIGHT on so many levels! First, that photo is adorable and I’m swiping it! Second, any positive article/blog/entry with the word “fuck” in it deserves a big round of applause *smiles* — it just makes it so real, you know? Third, friendships are absolutely precious so I’m so happy to hear someone making a sincere effort. In a day and age when people are so frazzled their friendships are built around text messaging it’s refreshing to read about someone who truly cares. Well done!

    • I’ve been getting back in touch with people and it feels so good. I can’t believe i didn’t do it sooner. Thanks so much for the comment and I have to agree about “fuck”, it’s actually my go to word for all occassions!

  9. This is such an important post… with a truly awesome photo. My kids and I are list-makers. There’s something so comforting about feeling you can organize your life in this safety-net sort of way. But exactly as you say, this attention to work details and obligations frequently squeezes out spontaneous moments. I’m so happy you have a friend who made your month! This is such a thoughtful post. I know you deserve happiness and lightheartedness away from the lists. Thank you for bringing me here and for the follow!

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