Sometimes in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself.
In the early part of this year I knew exactly what I would do in June. Isn’t it amazing how easy things seem when we don’t have to move on them quite yet? As a special education teacher I have the same students for fifth and sixth grade. Of course I become very attached to them, and I would hope them to me. So, I planned to finish my year two of teaching the same students and see them off to 7th grade, tie up the loose ends, and resign my position. It was a plan.
As the time came close I started to talk myself in to being able to work at the school and start my new endeavor too. I also found myself doing a lot of negative self-talk and scaring myself into just staying. I found all of the reasons not to let go of the secure and familiar, even though I knew letting go was what I truly wanted.
I gathered my courage and resigned. People were shocked! They tried to persuade me to stay. I have to admit, that felt good. It almost worked, but then I’d be staying to feed my ego or retain some false sense of security that a job with a pension and benefits offers. We all realize that people lose these things every day, so there is no security there either. I did give it more thought. Some might call it obsessing over it.
When I was very still and listened to that voice inside of me, the voice who knows all of me, I knew what I needed to do. I knew what would happen to me if I didn’t listen to that voice. Each day that followed I’d cease to be the person I truly am. I’d be denying that spark inside of me that wants to accomplish more than I have. I’d be foregoing the journey to find out all that I really am and what I am meant to do in favor of choosing to safe road of predictability.
So I jumped and I feel light enough to fly. I resigned yesterday. Let the journey begin!
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
Congratulations – may the road ahead be all you have dreamed of!
Thank you Diana and thank you for all of your encouragement. It has meant a lot.
I can’t say, “Congratulations!” enough. You will be rewarded for your courage and scared, as well, as you already know. I began a similar journey almost two years ago – cutting away all the illusions of security I had been carrying around for most of my life. It has been harrowing at times. But I am now at peace, OK with the reality that I don’t know how my intentions will be fulfilled, (giving up control is hard). The rewards experienced so far give me confidence to continue. You are awesome! And thanks for liking my recent post.
I love “cutting away the illusion of security.” Perfect. Let’s keep an eye on each other. I’m thrilled to follow in your foot steps. All aboard!!!
You make it sound like so much fun. I’m there!
This is so inspiring! I can’t wait to hear about the journey as it unfolds. Good for you and Congratulations for listening to your wiser self!!!!
Thanks for the support! Keep writing. I really enjoy your blog.
Awww, shucks, thanks so much!! I really appreciate that and am loving catching up with yours. Consider me a loyal reader and admirer! 🙂
Congratulations on your decision and best wishes for the road ahead.
And about your writing …. “When I was very still and listened to that voice inside of me, the voice who knows all of me, I knew what I needed to do.” …. that is truly inspiration ….. I will add this to my own quote collection.
That might be one of the kindest and most cherished things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.